Guide to survival in Chennai- Part 1

at Posted by Kusum Rohra
The bindaas bum-baiya er that is me is stuck in Chennai to spend sometime with the love of my life. * sigh * of all places I am in Chennai on holi. However instead of being sullen I decided to make the most of the sambhar-idli-vada situation I am in. My parents always gush about how I was a very fast learner and keeping up to my bachpan ka habits I am learning very fast to survive in chennai too.

Now the most difficult thing about being in chennai is dealing with the dark, sweaty, lungi clad auto rickshaw drivers here. But ha! in just a few days I have learnt to deal with them.

Consider this dialogue today:

Me: Besant Nagar, Murugan Idli shop pagatla. (Meaning close Besang nagar close to murugan idli shop)

Auto driver: Something in Tamil which I suppose means: oh you bleedhy Hindi speaking nut I will take you to besant nagar!

Me: Ayevalo (Meaning how much)

Auto driver: Fifty rupees madam.

Me: * Giving auto driver a look that you would give to a kid who has just peed on you favourite newly vaccumed rug * Tch roomba jaasti.

Auto driver: Something in Tamil which I think means: Oh come on! You look like you are from mumbai, you pay such heavy rents there, why can't you just shut up and pay the exorbitant charges I am asking you!

Me: * Still giving him the look which says you disappoint me bugger * No, roomba jaasti. Rs.30 Only.

Auto driver: Something in Tamil which I think means : You are such a mean lady. You can spend on Channel and MAC but you would not support my drinking and I just drink the cheapest stuff available at the local liquor store!

Me: (By this time I get irritated) Poda...poda! (Which means get lost you bugger )

Auto driver: Ok ok Rs.30.

Heheheh you see? I have not become proficient in such bargaining that I have managed to save total of Rs.55 in about a week of me being here, if I stay longer I might just end up saving enuff to buy my own car. Heh! So people the step by step survival techniques can be obtained from the above mentioned conversation.

Step 1: No matter how much the auto quotes you need to give him a very stern * you disappoint me * look.

Step 2: No matter what happens you need to bring down the rate by at least 40 to 50%

Step 3: No matter what happens please do not say poda my Tamil speaking friends have been trying to explain that it is highly insulting specially if it come from women that too beautiful women.

Happy travelling.

Certified Loony

at Posted by Kusum Rohra
I think I am ready to be thrown in one of the loony bins now. Friends who know me know my love for shopping and also my extreme love for shopping knick knacks for my er non existing house (as of now). I have a closet full of these sweet little things that cost some sweet money. I have these jewelry boxes I picked up in Kodai, small knitted scissor cases I picked up from Chennai, fancy wall hangings and the loveliest small show pieces I picked in Faridabad, I have even bought small little kullhars for tea from Calcutta.All to be used when I buy a house fancy enough to use all these collectibles. * sigh * You get the drift.

Yesterday I think I went to far. While browsing through Victoria Technical Institute in Chennai, I fell in love with couple of cute little pink vests for new born baby girls. Now I am not anywhere close to having kids in the next 5 years but still I almost bought them thinking I can always store them for the next 5 years and if I have a baby boy instead of a girl I can always dress him in those cute pink vests with lovely pink handcrafted lace and small rabbits in the centre. * sigh * Someone pliss throw me in a loony bin before I end up buying stuff I will use couple of decades from now, I am running out of storage space!