My Name is my business

at Posted by Kusum Rohra
After I have been married a lot of people (mostly well meaning) have asked me "So what is your name now?" to which I politely reply "I am retaining my maiden name." I have been getting mixed reactions about this, some people shrug it off, some people raise their eyebrows (including my parents!) but the worst kind question my decision. It's one thing to want to know why I decided to retain my maiden name, it's totally another to question my decision.

OK, so let me tell you one thing: My name is My business, really, that's surprising huh? I am sure there are plenty of women who go about embracing the hubby's last name or as in our (Sindhi) custom even changing their first name without a thought. I have no opinion or rather I have no time to sit and judge their decision. As for myself, it would kill me. My blog, my email ids (official and personal), visiting cards, passport, bank accounts, trading accounts, assets, insurance policies and what not. Why should I go through the pain of updating so much even if it can be done with minimum effort! I sign Rohra,not Kusum. To me 'Rohra' has a nice ring to it. I've been arguing with hubby that our name plate will read 'His last name and Rohra'. To me Kusum Rohra is a brand. I am not going to change that. My marriage is the most important part of my life, read that properly, it is *the* most important thing in my life, still I see no reason to change my name specially since my loony heart loves it.

Nothing wrong with my hubby's last name but I see no logic in giving up mine. If I ever get bored with being a 'Rohra' or feel like I need a change I will change it but that will be my decision and not something that comes in the package when one marries.So people who think that a woman who is old enough to make her own people can't take her own decision about her name, let me kindly ask you to shut the eff up. Thank you.


Richa said...

Good stand. The latest trend is hyphenated surname, which may seem like a smart idea, but I personally find it hilarious.

buddy said...

ok so u think every damn married lady shud change ther name to there first ona :P but i can say u r fighting like an protagonist haha *sympathy* but on the other hand m proud of u for making Rohra's name stable woooh

Buls said...

Hey... I didn't change my name either... My name is my identity... how can it be changed after 26 years and more importantly, WHY?

pallavi said...

totally agree with this one! and the best part is boys agree with it too and it doesn't need any convincing!

Kusum Rohra said...

@Richa: Well haven't heard of hyphenated surnames but agree with you that is a hilarious idea :)

@Buls: Good for you girl. Glad you agree.

@Pallavi: Yeah my hubby agrees with it too, so the boys are growing up ;)

Anonymous said...

two years back i changed my name to Kusum, and trying to use it as the first name but i have not changed it officially. :)

problem is for those who know me as my previous name. they say oh what did u become Kusum. I like this one better than the last one and it has a nicer ring to the one before it. I don't really care of my last name. So now I am re-acquainting myself with this name and liking it a lot!

GoldenSoul said...

I've been a lurker till now (and needless to say, I'm kinda late in responding...BUT better late than never, eh?)but I gotta say Kudos! For me, its more of a history issue. I know where I came from, I want my future kids to know their maternal history too. I feel like by changing my name I will be giving up what was once my life. The beau being a lil old school didn't get I asked "How would you like it if we BOTH changed our last something we pick" to which he quickly replied "But I am J. Smith!...I'll always be J. Smith.." and then his voice trailed and he shut up. *nods*

nmaha said... the "old enough to make her own people" part.
I totally agree with you. I have taken my husband's name, while my cousin retains her maiden name. And we both made our own decisions.

I really used to hate it when my Sindhi friends changed their first name (that's your identity girl) because of some numerology thingy, however, lately I've realized they all use it as a good excuse to get names way more exotic than the common ones their parents chose! Takes all kinds to make the world :-)

Kusum Rohra said...

@Goldensoul: That was a good retort and hey history is a good pointer too!!

@nmaha: Ha! that's a good reason to sneakily change your name :D Yes, it does take all kinds of people to make it a fun place to live in :)