Why we are not ready to be parents yet

at Posted by Kusum Rohra
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It's just been a few months but then lots of people (specially my mom) have been asking us to give them some good news. Of course it's good news for them for us on the other hand having kids will not be such a good news I feel. I know I know I am not getting any younger, post-30 pregnancies can be dangerous blah blah blah, but we really are just not ready to be parents yet. OK, let me give you an example. Generally when I can't sleep I ask my husband the Mr.Loony to tell me a story, he asks me to give him a few characters, generally whatever characters I give him end up having sex and the story ends up as a soft porn boring story. To avoid another soft porn story I chose a lion and a giraffe. Big Mistake.

Here is his story:
Many Many years later (he is very futuristic I must tell you) due to global warming the only two surviving animals in the jungle are a lion and a giraffe. The Lion is quite a romantic at heart and very horny too so he realises with the giraffe being the only option around he must woo her. The giraffe is very very old fashioned and needs to be swept off her feet. The horny Lion decides he can do anything for sex, so off he goes wooing the giraffe. After a few song and dance numbers, flowers and gifts, praises and poems the giraffe finally lets the lion kiss her. But now now, the lion can't really jump that high and the giraffe being old fashioned and shy won't come down. So our hero climbs up a really high tree to kiss her. He finds a branch that gives him perfect height, looks into her eyes, swears of his eternal love and just as he is about to kiss her, he slips and falls on her neck killing her instantly.

The lion looks at the dead giraffe and is heart broken (or an equivalent term for horny plans gone wrong) but then he thinks to himself 'What the hell! It's a good thing I can eat her dead too.' So he feasts upon the giraffe for many a days and is very happy for finding such good food considering there weren't any other animals around because of global warming.
To say that I was disturbed by the story is an understatement. But now I always crack up thinking of this lion who wanted to eat the giraffe dead or alive. Sigh. There you go now, he makes up a sick story and I find it funny, obviously we can't have kids. What kind of kids we would we raise with stories like these.

8 comments:

the mad momma said...

ROFL... kids with a sense of humour i'd guess! its exactly the kind of thing the OA would come up with too!

Mind Curry said...

all the makings of The Lion King 2020 - Escape to Mars

Destiny's child said...

Imaginative and creative kids definitely! ;)
ROFL

starry said...

I think u guys will make good parents with lots of stories to tell.

Lincoln said...

ha ha ur husband is too creative:)

u get free humour every night :P

Davadaroo Baba said...

The key is not to tell stories....

trust me... thats how I became a dad!


Krishnan

Kusum Rohra said...

@Maddy: Oh if this is the kind of story OA would have made too then I feel much better now knowing that things are not as screwed as I may think :)

@Mind Curry: heheh thanks ji bus now looking for a director and producer!

@DC: I sure hope so :)

@Starry: Stories will come from hubby :) he is the one with imagination.

@Lincoln: I get lot of other free stuff but let's not talk about that here ;)

@DB: No way! A childhood without stories would be dreadful.

Khyati said...

Kickass...this article forms a part of uplifting process of a sad day for me.